Yes, it may be stormy now, but it can't rain forever. Allah~
Bismillah
Please be grateful to Allah if you are having a wonderful, happy family right now. There are a lot of people out there yang setiap detik berdoa agar Allah kurniakan kepada mereka keluarga yang bahagia. Sometimes mesti sang bahagia ni pelik, kenapa mesti x bahagia? Family kot? Hmm..they will never know, until they face it themselves. And I.......am facing it...Allah~
I was always wondering, why should my family be like this? Then when I reflect back, I shouldn't ask that kind of question. Allah has given me this family is for me to be responsible of. But until now, I failed. I really don't have any idea to rebuild the so-called happiness in my family. People may see us normal, but the conflict that happen within us, no one can detect it. I was always pretending to look happy and cheerful. I always tried to forget everything that has happened in my family but I can't. What happen actually? Allah knows better.
I know this is too cruel to say, but I admit that this problem actually comes from my....father. I don't want to be labelled as anak derhaka when I say this but this is the reality. Anyone who is reading this, I don't care if you want to say that I'm not a good daughter, because you are not in the same boat with me. When there are people who answer the question " What kind of future spouse that you want to be with?" with an answer like, "I want someone who's like my father", no, I will never answer like that. Again, you want to say that I'm an ungrateful child? Just say.
What has he done actually? There's no need for me to tell the whole world. I still respect him as a father, for eventhough he has done a lot to us, my mother especially, I still have to cover his maruah and keaiban. My mother has suffered a lot, but she is too strong that I don't know where does the strength come from. I thought maybe from the du'a that she made each time after prayer. She told me that she has never give up, praying for my father supaya Allah gerakkan hati dia untuk lebih memahami dan practice what our deen has taught (it's not that he doesn't perform solat). For now, I only can pray so that Allah akan ubah dia, dan juga kitorang, supaya kami dapat sama-sama gapai apa yang dikatakan sebagai keluarga yang sakinah, mawaddah wa rahmah. Sesungguhnya Allah lah yang memegang hati-hati manusia itu. Maka pohonlah kepada pemilik hati itu seandainya kamu inginkan hati itu. Pohonlah dengan nama Allah yang Maha Suci lagi Maha Agung. May Allah bless us, my family...
